Okay, okay, first things first. Before we get to the corn/hot dog mess, I have to ask: Have you entered our Mid-Century Menu Worst Recipe contest yet? No?  Then you should!!! The deadline for entry is TOMORROW at midnight! Email your entry to me at ruth@nopatternrequired.com .  The prize, besides getting to watch Tom choke down your submission, is a fantastic vintage Pyrex casserole crammed with goodies.  I love it!  Send us the most disgusting thing you can find!

Okay, now on with the show.

This week Tom and I are cooking from Good Housekeeping’s Clock Watchers, a rather strange book that boasts recipes for pantry and shortcut foods to make dinner prep faster.  Think…Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee. Except scarier. 

We picked up this book in St. Germain, Wisconsin at a local thrift store.  It was Tom’s way of bribing me to camp in the rain.  That and a double-scoop ice cream cone with two different flavors of ice cream.  Yeah, I’m easy. So what??

Anyway, this book was published in 1967 by Good Housekeeping, and is really scary.  You can just tell by looking at the cover.  The onion slices poking out of that bun just scream, “We are disgusting! Don’t eat us!” 

So we picked out some winners, if I do say so myself.

I hate it when they split the recipes onto two different pages. Gah!

Anyway, our course was clear, and we were off!

No, your eyes don’t deceive you.  That is Miracle Whip in there.  I assume that is what the recipe meant by “cooked salad dressing”.  Someone tell me I am wrong. Please!

First, the corn pancakes with hot dog sauce. Just so you know, the only thing that got me through this was one word. Corndog. I was hoping this might just be alright.

I just skipped right to the finished white sauce, cheese melted in and hot dogs added.  How many times can you watch me make white sauce?

Corn pancakes, made from a mix.

Aaaaand, the moment the meal is ruined.  Adding Miracle Whip to the hot dog sauce.

Buwa-ha ha ha ha, oh my god. Have  you ever seen anything so gross? Gah!

But you have to wait to see Tom eat it.  First we have to make some weird pie.

Look at that terrible crust!!! Man, I need to do a better job. Maybe if I started cooking BEFORE 9 at night…maybe…

The pie, trying to hide in the fridge.

Okay, now we can make Tom eat the pancakes!

The disgusted recoil.  I love it!

“The texture and taste of this sauce is absolutely disgusting.’

“Oh, it can’t be that bad.”  I took a bite.  He was right.  The texture of the sauce was off and tasting disgustingly like hot Miracle Whip. The hot dogs and corn pancakes weren’t actually that bad of a combo, but the sauce made it disgusting. I choked down most of my first serving, and then gave up.  I buttered some of the un-hotdogged pancakes, drowned them in maple syrup and watched Tom heroically eat almost the entire meal.

The Verdict: Gross. The pancakes and hot dogs MAY have been okay, but the hot Miracle Whip put it over the edge into disgusting country. Do NOT try this at home, kids.

Oh – were you waiting to see Tom eat that weird pie?? Oh, silly me, I forgot to mention that I will be posting photos of Tom trying the pie tomorrow on our Facebook page!  You had better be there to see the action! Oh, and friend us too, for cripes sake!  We are starting to look kinda pathetic!