Frozen Valentine Rounds – A Retro Recipe Test
15 Feb
I have to admit, Tom and I started out this week’s Mid-Century Menu test very disappointed. You see, this special Valentine’s dinner was supposed to really be heart-y. And by that, I mean it was literally supposed to have a beef heart in it.
Sadly, our local butcher shop, after having come through like champs for us when we needed cow tongue and salt pork, failed us this week. When Tom went in to get a two-pound beef heart, (no more organ meat on the floor of MY car, I can tell you that right now) he actually stumped our butchers. Oh, they can order it for us, they said, but it would take a week or two to get here. But by then the wonderful horribleness of being able to have a Valentine’s Recipe with an actual, blood-pumping heart in it would be long done and gone, so we decided to pass on ordering our two-pound love muscle and just make something comforting for this week’s Valentine’s Menu.
And by “comforting” I of course mean Jell-O with canned fruit cocktail in it.
Ah. See? Now I feel all better.
I have to admit the first time I saw the cover of this cookbook, my heart started beating faster. (See, I knew we could work in a heart somehow!) My palms got a little sweaty and I got butterflies in my stomach. From the oversized, “A Christmas Story” style fruit basket in the corner to the little, winking pimento eyes of those bacon-wrapped olives, everything about this cover told me that I was in for a heck of a mid-century holiday visual feast.
And it truly did not disappoint.
This is a frozen Jell-O salad with mayo and canned fruit cocktail in it.
It’s not a real heart, but it’ll do, Pig. It’ll do.
But I did make two small changes to this week’s recipe, which I don’t normally do.
The first is that I didn’t have enough fruit cocktail, so I put in extra cherries.
It’s actually kind of a funny story. Not like the whole “butcher shop doesn’t have a heart” story above, which is just sad. No, this one is funnier because it involves Tom and me not communicating clearly.
So, when the plans to obtain bovine heart went awry, I had to come up with a new Valentine’s Mid-Century Menu plan, fast. I emailed Tom a list of supplies to pick up on his way home from work, including a notation to bring back “3 cups of fruit cocktail”.
When he got home he unpacked the new groceries and plopped into my hand a package of individually packaged, single serving fruit cocktail cups.
“Wait,” I said.
“What?” He set a roll of paper towels on the countertop.
“What is this?”
He shrugged his shoulders. “Don’t ask me. You said you wanted three cups of fruit cocktail.”
Ba-dum-bum-ching.
The other small change is, since I was now the proud owner of fruit cocktail “cups”, I didn’t have a big can to mold my salad in. So I went crazy and jammed it into a Jell-O mold I’ve been meaning to use for a while.
Isn’t it glorious?
I even got to stuff the center with miniature marshmallows.
I know, there are a lot of shots of this thing. But in my defense, I am actually really proud of it.
But you can’t just be proud of something because it’s pretty. You have to be proud of what’s on the inside, too.
Which is more marshmallows.
He is suspiciously sniffing it.
“Why does this smell like orange juice?”
I honestly had no answer for that one.
“Tastes like salad bar goo.”
I put down the camera and looked at him. “What?”
“It tastes like that pink, gooey gelatin salad that was always in the all-you-can-eat salad bars when I was a kid. You know, the salad you would take so that you didn’t have to take lettuce.”
“Where did you eat as a kid?’
“Dunno. Ponderosa?”
The Verdict: Despite the glorious looks of this thing, it is totally a salad and not a dessert. Non-descript rounds were probably the way to go with this thing. It tasted thick and rich, like lemon and whipped cream and mayonnaise, if that makes any sense. Not bad, but not overly sweet. Would be a great, edible showstopper salad for a mid-century dinner party.
You have explained these ideas to your butcher, right? Looks just too gross!
Eh, sometimes. Most of the time they don’t even ask what we are up to. They probably don’t want to know.
I know EXACTLY what Ponderosa salad bar goo Tom is talking about. I think that the pink salad looks amazing. But of course I have a weird affinity for gelatin-based dishes.
Thanks, Yinzerella. Oh, I know all about you and gelatin.
Hahaha. Ponderosa. That reminds me of visiting my husband’s grandma in rural Indiana. She looooooved that place. It’s just not good….but I guess there could be worse things….like cow heart. =)
You are right about that!
It’s so pretty! And I know exactly what Tom is talking about. It’s still on all salad bars here in the South. Right there with the salads as if it’s salad. And wow, hon…you were really going to make a recipe with beef heart in it??
Glad you think it is pretty!!
Yep, we were going to try to make something with beef heart. I guess we will have to save it for another time…maybe Sweetest Day…
Beef heart?!? Really? Now I will forever be wondering about what that recipe could have been!
I have to say the gelatin does look super pretty in all of it’s glorious pinkness, bummer that it tasted like salad bar goo!
I will just have to keep you in suspense!
First of all, thank you for my first laugh out loud moment of the day. I am not sure what is funnier, your husband’s comments or the pictures of him eating. Both are just priceless.
My mom is the queen of the mid century salad; jello, cottage cheese. All complete with lettuce leaf and paprika garnish. She has a recipe for something called California Salad that she is ever so proud of (tomato soup, lemon jello, mayo, green olives and shrimp) that causes my husband to run screaming from the house. Its an acquired taste, something that takes about 40 years to develop.
Glad you thought it was funny, Paula!
I have actually met some people in real life, not even people who read this blog, who like lime jell-O with cottage cheese in it. I’m serious.
That California Salad sounds…interesting. I’ve had salads with those same ingredients that taste horrible, and some that actually taste okay. Jell-O is a strange, strange thing.
Aww man! I am totally bummed about the lack of beef heart. Hope the butcher is well-stocked with livers, though. Bwah-ha-ha-ha!!!! Happy Belated Valentine’s Day my friend. xoxo
Mimi! I’ll show you liver! I…oh wait. I guess you DID show me liver. That’s going to be a horrible one, isn’t it?? Yeck. XOXO
Looks pretty good Ruth…are you going to do a green one for St. Patrick’s Day? I might make this and tell my husband, as I always do, just eat it..it’s good!
Well…I don’t want to spoil too much, but I DID manage to snag a clover shaped gelatin mold recently at Salvation Army…
Good for you! You should get a bunny one for Easter too..
Oh no! The lambie cake is totally always the star at Easter, so I have that one covered!
My grandma used to make something pretty similar. Her secret: a layer of jello and crushed pretzels on the bottom. The combination of salty and sweet made for some good eatin’.
Also, I now feel sorta embarrassed for chuckling when I read the phrase “two-pound love muscle”. Such a juvenile mind …
That sounds WAY better, nickarmadillo!
I mean the crushed pretzels…not the juvenile chuckling…
A new thing to live for! These looks on Tom’s face. More hysterical laughter!
The pink gelatin thing was sorta pretty though.
Hooray, Jen! Glad we gave you something new to look forward too.
Yeah, the pink gelatin did end up rather pretty, didn’t it??
I’m not quite sure how I missed this blog for so long, definitely adding to my reader right away! I have that cookbook too, though have yet to make anything out of it. Perhaps I’ll start out with a different recipe, methinks.
Welcome, Tasha! Glad you like the blog!
Yeah, this wasn’t the greatest one. But there are plenty of great recipes in that book that I am just dying to try!